the nurse gave me some valium before my surgery so i wouldn’t have a panic attack when they tried to put me under and just when it was starting to kick in i met my anesthesiologist, who told me I have the same name as his kid and I just nodded thoughtfully and said ‘we must battle so i can become the alpha’ and my dad nearly fell out of his chair he was laughing so hard
i bet juliet capulet would be that facebook girl who claims to be in love with her boyfriend of two weeks and says “age is just a number!!!!1!!”
and mercutio would be that friend that comments “and jail is just a room”
The Best of Cards Against Humanity: It’s kind of like the extremely offensive version of Apples to Apples.
I played it for the first time this evening with my friends and here were the best ones. (They aren’t meant to be taken seriously, of course!)
when u say a really clever comeback without stuttering